Day 14 (26 October 2011)

4275 Miles Away

26th October, 2011. Most of you would remember that it was the day I published the first episode of this story. Diwali, the festival of lights, prosperity and happiness was also celebrated the same day. However, it's not Diwali or the first episode that make the day special for me. 26 October also happens to be Khushi's birthday.

It had been almost 5 years since I saw Khushi outside that temple. Life had been kind on me during these years. The middle-class boy roaming around the streets of Pilkhuwa in the first episode had ended up as a student at Lancaster University in England.

I kept my promise made to Himanshi. Khushi and I only talked on each other's birthdays and occasional festivals.

X : Hey! Happy *******. How are you?

Y : Thank you. I'm fine. How is everything at your end?

X : I'm doing fine too.

Y : Good. Take care. Bye.

This had been been the structure of my few conversations with Khushi in the last 1 year, 6 months and 6 days.

Unfortunately, Diwali and her birthday (2 excuses to hear her voice) fell on the same day this year. I calculated the time difference and called her 5 minutes before it struck midnight in India. Her phone was busy. I understood that she was talking to Himanshi. I was expecting her usual missed call in 5-10 minutes after she was done with Himanshi's wishes. I was wrong. I called back after a while. Still busy. I kept calling for an hour and a half before she answered the phone.

I wished her. She explained that she had not answered the phone as she was talking to Himanshi. I tried to make small talk to prolong the conversation. She did not seem interested in talking. I requested her to talk a little more. She explained that it was too late and would give me a missed call if she happened to be free some time during the day.

I could not put myself to sleep that night. I waited for the elusive missed call the entire day. Things got worse as I missed being with my family in my country for Diwali. As a symbolic celebration, I went out that evening to have dinner with my friends Sheena, Vikas and Mayank, the only family I have at Lancaster.

It was then that I recieved the missed call. I excused myself and went out to the cold and windy street. I called back and wished her again. When I asked about her day, she told me that she had a wonderful time. Her chacha-chachi and other relatives had given her a surprise party which she enjoyed thoroughly.

I told her about our story which I had planned to write with Mayank. She was furious when she heard of the idea. But, I managed to convince her that it would be fine. I told her that I had written her a poem for her birthday and asked her several times if I could recite it to her. She refused each time. The conversation did not last long. Before I hung up, I requested her one last time. She gave an uninterested "fine".

She listened to my poem without much enthusiasm (I'll share the poem on the blog on wednesday). "Thank you for your wishes. I don't think we'll ever talk again. I don't see a point. Please don't call me in the future. Good bye", she said as she was about to hang up.

"Khushi", I whispered. "Can I ask you a question?"

Another cold "yes".

"Don't you feel like talking to me any more?", I asked.

"I see no point in answering the question", was the reply I got.

I gave up, said my good byes and hung up. As I walked up the stairs, the phone rang again. I called her back.

"Yes, I do feel like talking to you. So what?", she blurted out.

"Do you not love me any more?", I asked calmly. I was shivering, but it was not the cold.

"Yes I do", she said after a long pause, "but I hate you too for abandoning me without explanation when I needed you the most."

I tried to fight back a tear. I could not come up with anything appropriate to say.

"Good bye. Take care of yourself. I love you.", I murmered before disconnecting the call.

That was the last I heard from Khushi.

I sat down that night, 4275 miles away from Khushi, with 2 years of undelivered birthday gifts in my hands and published the first episode of this story.

This story was not written merely to entertain people. It was not meant to be a melodramatic masala love story. It means much more.

The words I have published in these 14 episodes are the words that were left unsaid. This story is my tribute to Khushi, the best thing to ever happen to me. It is my gratitude for every moment of happiness she and her memories have given me. It is my apology for the grief I have caused her through my actions. It is my promise to love her no matter where life takes me. It is a prayer of hope, that somewhere down the line, I would get a chance to make amends.